In 2008 I had a spontaneous awakening experience that brought me face to face with my true self – myself as divine consciousness. At that time I had no frame of reference for this experience and I didn’t know how to integrate it into my life. I had known for a long time that I was a spiritual being having a human experience but that intellectual understanding had not prepared me for this experience. I felt a oneness with all of life and great love, joy, compassion and understanding flowed through me effortlessly as though I suddenly became unburdened. I was the clear an unattached witness to my experience. I carried on continuing to do my healing and teaching energy work but I was forever changed by this experience and the knowing that resonated so deeply within me. I so badly wanted to share this profound change that I had undergone but I didn’t have the words or understanding to even begin to share it with others.
It wasn’t until 2015 when I met one of my teachers, Mooji, that my experience was confirmed. Not only did my awakening experience make sense but it seemed that my whole life and everything I had been through was leading me to this awakening. All the seemingly unrelated puzzle pieces of my life seemed to drop into place for the first time. Many of the feelings and mind states that I had that had kept me unsettled and questioning motivated me to keep seeking until I found what I was looking for. I had no idea what it was but when I followed Mooji’s teachings it led me to an experience beyond my physical body and mind into every cell in my body said, “yes!” We are not just physical beings we are undeniably here to remember who we are and Mooji was speaking of it so clearly. I knew of this truth but had never been able to experience it in this way.
This confirmation and understanding brought me into a place of profound gratitude for every aspect of my journey even my struggles and suffering all made sense. I felt joyful and a lightness that I had never known before. I truly thought to myself, “this has to be the biggest cosmic joke of all time that I am here to discover and know this great mystery.” I considered this to be one of the highest teachings and I didn’t feel worthy but at the same time I recognized it was happening despite what I thought.
My journey of self discovery has been like a remembering and waking from the dream of a false identity. It’s almost like I didn’t really know myself because I was missing something critical in my understanding. It cannot really be taught because we are all already that at our essence whether we know this consciously or not.
This awakening journey has been a gradual discovery for me. It has been a recognition that I am not my mind and false messages that my ego self would have me believe. I am more connected to life than ever and I experience joy, great clarity and more detachment than ever before. Still I have to deal with powerful feelings and emotions that have to move through me but I am less identified with these states and as a result I spend less and less time suffering them.
I never thought I would be able to find peace, contentment and joy because I had a strong ego that was like an inner abusive task master and crazy person! I am happy to say if I can have this awareness anyone can!! I am more centered and the storms always move through leaving me clear and more open to life.
I am hoping that this part of my story is inspiring or confirming in some way and if it is please explore these pages more deeply or reach out to me. I wish you all the best in your discovery.