letting go

There’s only Love

/ oneheart / 2 Comments

I’m sure you’ve heard this phrase before and have maybe even contemplated it. What does it mean to say there is only love? When you say something like this to others it can spark different emotions. I’ve noticed some get quiet and contemplative while others get angry, annoyed and even defensive. If seems to some that it is some airy fairy super idealistic and simplistic view of things that has no basis in reality. Others are certain that this is just a trite spiritual cliché.

I can only tell you what it means to me as I have given it some thought. At the moment of death or contemplating the moment of death it seems that all the extraneous stuff falls away. Beliefs, proclamations, judgements, grudges, our ideas about how life should be and even our bodies fall away. It is the biggest letting go of our lives. We are letting go of absolutely everything because as we know we can take nothing with us. If we are lucky when everything else falls away it leaves nothing but love and the focus on loved ones.

I can only tell you what it means to me as I have given it some thought. At the moment of death or contemplating the moment of death it seems that all the extraneous stuff falls away. Beliefs, proclamations, judgements, grudges, our ideas about how life should be and even our bodies fall away. It is the biggest letting go of our lives. We are letting go of absolutely everything because as we know we can take nothing with us. If we are lucky when everything else falls away it leaves nothing but love and the focus on loved ones.

Many master teachers and gurus point us to the moments before death as a powerful contemplation. My teacher Mooji would often say, “die before you die.” Meaning die to everything false, unimportant and temporary while you are still alive. What remains is only love. On your death bed you will most likely not be concerned with politics or the final score of the ball game. You will only want those that you love to be around you and you will want them to know you love them.

Western cultures tend to ignore the fact that death is actually a part of life, everyone’s life. In fact we die mini deaths throughout our lives. We shift, grow, change and transform in an ongoing process of letting go and surrendering. While still very much alive we die to old ways of being that have become outmoded or restrictive. We are vulnerable and stripped down to the core as we begin anew only to begin another cycle of birth and death and birth again in gradual dress rehearsal for the main event – our physical death and release of the body.

In the end there is only love because it is timeless and transcends even death as it is carried forward through our loved ones.  

Resist or let go?

/ oneheart / 3 Comments

Resistance, tensing up, saying “no” to what is or “no” to what is unfolding in the present moment.  We do it all the time when we don’t like, can’t deal or don’t want to face what is happening now.   I’m sure you know what I mean.

Sometimes we don’t know we are resisting but checking in with the body can reveal that tension is building. I guarantee it is playing out somewhere in your body.   Is the jaw or shoulders tight or painful?    How about your abdominal muscles or low back?   These are some very popular places where the body holds or braces itself against something undesirable.

We are taught that feeling good is more desirable than feeling bad but lets face it that isn’t how life works.  Everything will come at you; the good, the bad and the ugly and our job is to stay as clear as we can in the midst of it all.  

It’s good to keep in mind that resistance doesn’t actually do anything in the world. It doesn’t actually stop anything from happening.  What it does do is cause suffering.  The present moment will persist whether or not we resist it or flow with it. 

I love the spiritual teacher Michael Singer who wrote the book The Untethered Soul.  In it he says that you can become adept at noticing when the process of resistance kicks in.  He says, when you feel the body tense up make a conscious attempt to relax it.  Take a breath and let go and allow all the feelings to move through you.  When you do this the energy doesn’t build up in the body and cause physical or emotional suffering.  When you allow it you express it and feel it fully.  Then when it’s done it’s done instead of adding to the accumulated energy you are releasing it.  

Here is a quote from the The Untethered Soul:

“The Stuff that holds you down periodically rears its head.  When it does, let it go.  You simply permit the pain to come up into your heart and pass through.   If you do that, it will pass.  If you are sincerely seeing truth, you’ll let go every time.  This is the beginning and the end of the entire path – you surrender yourself to the process of emptying yourself.   When you work with this, you start to learn the subtler laws of the process of letting go.”

The part that takes some practice is noticing when you are beginning to resist because often we are caught in habitual behavior and initially it’s easy to miss.    Gradually you begin the process of freeing yourself and after a while you’ll notice that the body isn’t holding in the same old ways. 

What isn’t talked about a lot is that our accumulated baggage can weigh us down so much that we can’t see the world as it is, rather, we see the world as we are.  This can be a problem when life throws you a curve ball or tests come your way.   When you are consciously letting go you will just feel better in every way.   Just a small bonus for all your time and attention!  

The old saying what you resists persists should really say what you resist causes suffering in your body and mind…but it doesn’t have to!