feelings

Don’t Worry be Happy…or not…

/ oneheart / 4 Comments

It sounds so simple but it can create a lot pressure to think that you should always be happy!  In fact life is full of suffering, challenges and conflict that we have to learn how to deal with and not think something is wrong when these feelings come along.  

One of my teachers Amoda Maa says we have to accept the messiness of life.  I love this!!  Life is never going to line up with our view of how it should be and when we truly and deeply accept this truth it can be very freeing.  I’m not saying condone things that you feel are horribly wrong but resisting what is happening is also a pointless misuse of energy.  Resisting can cause stress and even more unhappiness.  Where did we ever get the idea that we should always be bright and cheerful?  This mistaken idea can actually contribute greatly to our suffering. 

Sometimes, however, accepting what feels unacceptable can feel like an insurmountable challenge.  There is one question to ask yourself.  Is there something in my power that I can do about this?  If there is then take the action that you feel is appropriate. If there isn’t then you have to accept that this is the world we live in and both the beautiful and ugly coexist side by side.  We have to choose consciously how we wish to be in this imperfect world.  Am I going to let it get the best of me or am I going to learn how to navigate and stay open to it all? Allowing all my feelings to flow freely through me to the best of my ability.  It doesn’t work anyway to try and shut them down or protect against them and only serves to block us physically and energetically.  

I’m not making light of serious physical or emotional abuse when the feelings are strong and destabilizing.  It’s still important not to deny them but working with someone to help you face these things can make all the difference. 

Life is meant to challenge us and force us to grow in ways we would never willingly choose.  When we are forced by circumstance to open to a new way, something outside our comfort zone, it could just be the doorway to liberation that we have stumbled on.  So try not to label your your feelings as either good or bad, acceptable or unacceptable, happy or sad.   Welcome them all. 

Teachings from Nature Continue…

/ oneheart / 6 Comments

I often walk in the morning and am stunned by the consciousness that abounds in nature and the lessons that can be gleaned by one who is paying attention. Natures communication is subtle and usually speaks to me through my intuition. I know this because often strong feelings are inspired and when I take the time to be with these feelings often they speak volumes to me. Recently I wrote about my sunflowers in a blog called A Sunflower Taught me about Overcoming Adversity. You can read it here.

For my whole life nature has spoken to me although I didn’t always know it.  I’ve always known that nothing that comes into my awareness is wasted and that the universe uses every opportunity to teach and inspire me.  

Trees are awesome teachers that possess great strength, stillness, resiliency, connection, goundedness, beauty and resolve.  These are just a few of the adjectives that come to me off the top of my head but I’m sure you can add your own to describe your favorite tree.  

After hurricane Isaias the messages from nature were coming to me loudly and I would pass many downed trees during my daily walk.  When I stopped to pay homage to these giants that had given way and were broken or pulled up from their roots I was stunned to feel great resolve and strength.  When I stood with the tree to sense more deeply I felt none of the emotions of sadness or loss that I felt but a knowing that its life was not over because its visible form was gone.  It’s as if the tree was trying to convey to me that it knew what was coming and that the wind sent a warning through its system but being a tree it knew there was nothing to “do.”  The tree had no choice but to continue standing in its lifelong spot and weather the storm taking whatever mother nature threw her way.  The tree had to “be.” There was no fear for its future or memories from the past.  There was only the present moment 

When the wind gust pulled on the tree and the deep roots snapped there was no stopping it from going down.  Down she fell taking the soil and power lines with her and darkening all the homes on her grid.   It only seems right that such a magnificent being should have such an impact on us when her outer physical form comes crashing down.  

The tree knew there was nothing to do and simply had to take what was coming.  She did this with power and grace knowing that her outer form would be no more.  Her deep, deep roots carry on with her connection to all the other tree beings and they still share information, nourishment and more wisdom than we can possibly know.  You see the trees were here before us and they will surely out live us.  They have seen a lot and weathered many storms and will carry on even when its outer form is severely damaged or compromised.  And when the tree is completely uprooted and no longer visible to us still its life will continue. 

Unlike humans, nature uses its interconnectedness to benefit all of life.  The form of the tree has changed but still it continues in its vital role to all its neighbors.  

Resist or let go?

/ oneheart / 3 Comments

Resistance, tensing up, saying “no” to what is or “no” to what is unfolding in the present moment.  We do it all the time when we don’t like, can’t deal or don’t want to face what is happening now.   I’m sure you know what I mean.

Sometimes we don’t know we are resisting but checking in with the body can reveal that tension is building. I guarantee it is playing out somewhere in your body.   Is the jaw or shoulders tight or painful?    How about your abdominal muscles or low back?   These are some very popular places where the body holds or braces itself against something undesirable.

We are taught that feeling good is more desirable than feeling bad but lets face it that isn’t how life works.  Everything will come at you; the good, the bad and the ugly and our job is to stay as clear as we can in the midst of it all.  

It’s good to keep in mind that resistance doesn’t actually do anything in the world. It doesn’t actually stop anything from happening.  What it does do is cause suffering.  The present moment will persist whether or not we resist it or flow with it. 

I love the spiritual teacher Michael Singer who wrote the book The Untethered Soul.  In it he says that you can become adept at noticing when the process of resistance kicks in.  He says, when you feel the body tense up make a conscious attempt to relax it.  Take a breath and let go and allow all the feelings to move through you.  When you do this the energy doesn’t build up in the body and cause physical or emotional suffering.  When you allow it you express it and feel it fully.  Then when it’s done it’s done instead of adding to the accumulated energy you are releasing it.  

Here is a quote from the The Untethered Soul:

“The Stuff that holds you down periodically rears its head.  When it does, let it go.  You simply permit the pain to come up into your heart and pass through.   If you do that, it will pass.  If you are sincerely seeing truth, you’ll let go every time.  This is the beginning and the end of the entire path – you surrender yourself to the process of emptying yourself.   When you work with this, you start to learn the subtler laws of the process of letting go.”

The part that takes some practice is noticing when you are beginning to resist because often we are caught in habitual behavior and initially it’s easy to miss.    Gradually you begin the process of freeing yourself and after a while you’ll notice that the body isn’t holding in the same old ways. 

What isn’t talked about a lot is that our accumulated baggage can weigh us down so much that we can’t see the world as it is, rather, we see the world as we are.  This can be a problem when life throws you a curve ball or tests come your way.   When you are consciously letting go you will just feel better in every way.   Just a small bonus for all your time and attention!  

The old saying what you resists persists should really say what you resist causes suffering in your body and mind…but it doesn’t have to!

 

Facing the Void

/ oneheart / 5 Comments

Facing the void is similar to what is referred to as a dark night of the soul. Don’t worry its not as ominous as it sounds. A dark night is generally regarded as a time of great personal challenge when everything seems to be lost.  It’s as if there is a cloud hovering over head making it feel like the sun will never shine again.    It is a time of struggle and challenge where we can feel  tested repeatedly and as soon as one lesson is learned another one arrives on its heels. It is experienced alone and often no one else can relate to what you are going through and you must continue with your usual responsibilities and daily activities.   Some people can spend much of their lives in a dark night and it is believed that these souls have incarnated to learn, grow and evolve very quickly.

“…it is believed that these souls have incarnated to learn, grow and evolve very quickly.”

I have never been alive for a time where collectively we are experiencing what I am calling facing the void.     I’m calling it this because there are certain things about this time that are very different than the afore mentioned dark  night.  Right now there is an emptiness  and uncertainty that is looming and everything has stopped.  This is a collective and personal experience and we don’t know when it will end or what our world will look like when it’s over.  Our everyday routines and jobs have evaporated or changed drastically.  The streets and highways are empty and stores and businesses are shuttered and we all know what PPE is and we are wearing it!!!

“the very nature of life is uncertain.”

I’m wondering about the benefits of facing the void.  To not know for a while.   After all when we get right down to it the very nature of life is uncertain.  We can make plans but they can be wiped away in an instant.  We don’t like to think about the fact that we are not really in control.  When we really think it through life itself is impermanent and fleeting and especially as we get older the days, weeks and months seem to fly by.  

“Sometimes I thought I would be overwhelmed by the feelings.”

Oddly, part of my spiritual path has been about contemplating death.  I know how this sounds to most people.  All I can say is that I didn’t choose it.  For  some reason having to contemplate the certainty of death was something that chose me.  Initially it was a real bummer and very scary especially as a fairly young woman but going through this has been one of my most valuable life lessons.   Some times I thought I would be overwhelmed by the feelings.  Just when I thought I couldn’t take it I would have a powerful realization or learning that would make it all worthwhile.  For me it was my long dark night and a void that I couldn’t avoid but had to go through.

“we learn how to fly.”

During this time I met a spiritual teacher, Andrew Harvey, he wrote the book and coined the phrase “Spiritual Activism”, and I asked him what to do and how to deal with the knowing that our time is limited;  that we will all come to the same demise and this is the inevitable truth.   He said to me, “you can either get lost in the sadness and depression or you can dance.”   I’ll never forget it and he pointed me to something very important.   Am I going to wallow in depression or am I going to laugh, sing and dance with whatever time I am alive?  Trusting that life is an adventure that we can not predict.  It will twist and turn and surprise us over and over again.  

 When faced with the inevitability of the unknown and we don’t have solid  ground under our feet this is when we learn how to fly.  We learn essential skills for living a truly fulfilling and happy life when we face and go through what feels like the unfaceable.  We don’t learn this when we are living out our everyday lives unchallenged and comfortable.   It’s the extraordinary challenges to our very sense of self, our security, our routines that expand our knowing of who and what we really are.   It’s true what they say, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”  It really does and we won’t go there unless we are forced to.

We are so much more than we consciously know and life offers us a profound opportunity for this learning.  

This crisis is our once in a lifetime opportunity and I am hoping we can embrace it as the powerful teacher that it is.