Spiritual, energy, healing

There’s only Love

/ oneheart / 2 Comments

I’m sure you’ve heard this phrase before and have maybe even contemplated it. What does it mean to say there is only love? When you say something like this to others it can spark different emotions. I’ve noticed some get quiet and contemplative while others get angry, annoyed and even defensive. If seems to some that it is some airy fairy super idealistic and simplistic view of things that has no basis in reality. Others are certain that this is just a trite spiritual cliché.

I can only tell you what it means to me as I have given it some thought. At the moment of death or contemplating the moment of death it seems that all the extraneous stuff falls away. Beliefs, proclamations, judgements, grudges, our ideas about how life should be and even our bodies fall away. It is the biggest letting go of our lives. We are letting go of absolutely everything because as we know we can take nothing with us. If we are lucky when everything else falls away it leaves nothing but love and the focus on loved ones.

I can only tell you what it means to me as I have given it some thought. At the moment of death or contemplating the moment of death it seems that all the extraneous stuff falls away. Beliefs, proclamations, judgements, grudges, our ideas about how life should be and even our bodies fall away. It is the biggest letting go of our lives. We are letting go of absolutely everything because as we know we can take nothing with us. If we are lucky when everything else falls away it leaves nothing but love and the focus on loved ones.

Many master teachers and gurus point us to the moments before death as a powerful contemplation. My teacher Mooji would often say, “die before you die.” Meaning die to everything false, unimportant and temporary while you are still alive. What remains is only love. On your death bed you will most likely not be concerned with politics or the final score of the ball game. You will only want those that you love to be around you and you will want them to know you love them.

Western cultures tend to ignore the fact that death is actually a part of life, everyone’s life. In fact we die mini deaths throughout our lives. We shift, grow, change and transform in an ongoing process of letting go and surrendering. While still very much alive we die to old ways of being that have become outmoded or restrictive. We are vulnerable and stripped down to the core as we begin anew only to begin another cycle of birth and death and birth again in gradual dress rehearsal for the main event – our physical death and release of the body.

In the end there is only love because it is timeless and transcends even death as it is carried forward through our loved ones.  

Letting Go as an Act of Power

/ oneheart / 6 Comments

“Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on.” 

Eckhart Tolle’

I love this quote because it speaks of great power that we all have within.  Sometimes the very act of hanging on causes us undue suffering.   We hang on to our opinions, judgments, ideas, stances, the need to be right and also physical objects like paperwork, clothing and all kinds of stuff.   Our minds and homes can become cluttered because we have a hard time letting go and moving on.  It can stagnate our energy and weigh us down in ways that are not always apparent until we start to release.

To let go of these things we must have a far greater power inside of us that says, “I am not my ideas, judgments, opinions or even beliefs, I am far greater than that!”  I am not the stuff clogging up my basement and home, “I am greater than that!” I don’t have to cling to these things in order to hold onto my sense of self I will be lighter and freed up when I am able to release these things and move on. 

If I forgive someone that I thought was unforgivable I am released in the process because I no longer have to hold those negative feelings inside myself.  Forgiving facilitates a release within and has nothing to do with changing your view of unacceptable actions but has everything to do with freeing yourself from being judge and jury.  Having faith that justice eventually prevails and not everything is your responsibility.  Let yourself fall into the deeper knowing that everything happens for a reason that we may never fully understand. This recognition can be a tremendous unburdening. Know that you a playing a part in something much larger and unexplainable and are developing strength and resiliency through the process of letting go again and again. 

These days are uncertain and chaotic and we can’t rely on the outer world for stability.  We have to go within and drawn on our own inner resources and letting go is fundamental in this process.  

Finding Your “No”

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Someone said to me a long time ago that you can’t have a true “yes” until you have claimed your “no.” This makes so much sense to me now but at the time I can’t say that I fully understood it.  In my childhood I was definitely a pleaser and always looked for ways not to rock the boat. I really didn’t have an example of how to just say “no,” who did?  It seems to me that no one I knew actually felt entitled to say no so if they did have the courage to put it out there it always had an edge like it needed to be explained or defended in some way. 

What about that force that exists in each of us that either pulls us toward or repels us away that is so natural?  All living beings have it and it’s so simple and pure.  We are drawn toward or repelled away from situations, objects, foods, choices and it can go on and on. You can easily that see that babies and young children always do this quite naturally.  They instinctively  sense what is just arising within them and follow it without worrying so much about how it’s received by the world around them. 

I see this playing out so naturally in my cats for example. They move through the life as they wish without the external pressure of having to be a certain way. We accept them on their own terms and it’s one of the things that all cat owners know and love about their furry friends.  They cannot be controlled nor would a real cat person ever even try. We love them for who they are and all the while we are learning how to put our expectations, attachments and agendas aside. 

Unlike the natural world we are often taught to override our inherent internal navigation system and do the “right” thing.  As a result our pure impulses can be subtle to non existent and burried deep within.  They never completely disappear and we can learn to strengthen those neglected muscles. Our instinctive and intuitive knowing comes forward most easily when we are done looking to the outer world for our direction and we are left with no other option other than to go within.  Our innate  power and wisdom is constantly calling to us and it is there for us when we are ready.

Saying “yes” when you really feel a “no” is no way to live a life and yet so many of us are engaged in life in this way.  Feeling “no” about the work we do, “no” about our social obligations, “no” about what we require of ourselves on a daily basis. Once we begin to observe our real feelings it can seem like we are so far outside ourselves that it’s an impossible journey back to our truth.  The thing that I love about the truth is that is has a resonance not only in you but in the world as well.   Even a hard truth that rings true can be easily and seamlessly received by others.  When you are true to yourself  you are being authentic and you give whose around you the opportunity to really know you, the real you.   You no longer have to hold up the perfect lovable projected image of yourself that is exhausting.  You also give others permission to just be themselves.  Other people feel where you’re coming from and are just more comfortable and relaxed around you knowing that you will tell it like it is.   

So go ahead and give yourself the opportunity to just be yourself try saying “no” when you feel “no” and see how it goes.  I’m not promising that some people won’t resist this change in you but I guarantee you will breathe a sigh of relief, have renewed energy and invigorate your true “yes.”  The perfect gift to yourself this holiday is to just feel more comfortable in your own skin.    

The All Pervading Silence of Being

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It is always present all around us, in us and in all living beings. In fact it can never not be present and that makes it incredibly easy to overlook. It is the backdrop of our lives, the screen that the movie of life is playing on, the canvas that gives life to a work of art.  It is so profoundly important that without it nothing would exist  and yet we overlook, skip over and ignore it. It is no fault of our own because we are not raised to have the awareness that there is something greater than the body and mind.

Like so many crucial parts of life it is easily taken for granted and not given the attention it actually deserves.  Just the fact that we wake up and experience the gift of life each day is easy to disregard while other tasks and activities steal a majority of our attention.  There is nothing wrong with this it does happen this way for most people and as we progress through life we  have the opportunity to grow, change and deepen. Then one day seemingly out of the blue we are ready to see life differently and more fully. 

Without the quiet space between words, the pauses in a piece of music or the space that naturally exists between thoughts the message would be lost.  Music, words and thoughts would be a run on of notes, words and chatter with no particular emphasis or meaning.  When we recognize this we can begin to notice the power of the silence itself. 

When we meditate a common instruction is to release the thoughts or notice your thoughts and allow them to pass.  What is there to witness a thought passing?  What is always there as the silent observer?  Your answer may be, “nothing, absolutely nothing is there.”  Your answer would be correct however it isn’t just dead space.  It is aware and happens to be conscious of absolutely everything in and around us.  It is also totally aware of our behavior, feelings and actions and is able to report on them in stunning detail.   As an example a simple inner observation may look something like this.  “I was listening to my friend talking and my mind wandered to what I was going to prepare for dinner.  I started thinking about going to the grocery store and a conversation I had earlier with my partner about cooking. Then I refocused my attention so I could concentrate on the conversation.” This is a very simplified version of something that happens constantly and is an example of our ability to watch ourselves and report on it naturally and with ease. 

So I guess my question to you is what is aware?  What would it be like to focus on the space that is allowing life to play?  Is it the same as considering a blank canvas? Does it have any discernible qualities?  When you place your attention on this space how does it feel? 

There must be a reason that spiritual practices direct us to this over and over again pointing us ever inward to our own consciousness rather than outward. 

This is a discovery in itself to become aware of being aware and it points us beyond just our personal physical and psychological self and into the realm of the non-physical self – or the space of being.  It is indescribable in words therefore we can only be pointed in the direction and the discovery has to happen within each of us. 

Once discovered or known it never can be unknown again.  You may not fully understand why this is important but without it it’s like having soup with no broth, something vital is missing.  When discovered it imbues life with a different quality and power that I won’t get into here because it is experiential and unique for each person.  You learn to rest in a deeper awareness and let life play knowing all of life flows and is held by a power greater than yourself. 

My hope is that this is me putting into words what you are already intuitively aware of.

Don’t Worry be Happy…or not…

/ oneheart / 4 Comments

It sounds so simple but it can create a lot pressure to think that you should always be happy!  In fact life is full of suffering, challenges and conflict that we have to learn how to deal with and not think something is wrong when these feelings come along.  

One of my teachers Amoda Maa says we have to accept the messiness of life.  I love this!!  Life is never going to line up with our view of how it should be and when we truly and deeply accept this truth it can be very freeing.  I’m not saying condone things that you feel are horribly wrong but resisting what is happening is also a pointless misuse of energy.  Resisting can cause stress and even more unhappiness.  Where did we ever get the idea that we should always be bright and cheerful?  This mistaken idea can actually contribute greatly to our suffering. 

Sometimes, however, accepting what feels unacceptable can feel like an insurmountable challenge.  There is one question to ask yourself.  Is there something in my power that I can do about this?  If there is then take the action that you feel is appropriate. If there isn’t then you have to accept that this is the world we live in and both the beautiful and ugly coexist side by side.  We have to choose consciously how we wish to be in this imperfect world.  Am I going to let it get the best of me or am I going to learn how to navigate and stay open to it all? Allowing all my feelings to flow freely through me to the best of my ability.  It doesn’t work anyway to try and shut them down or protect against them and only serves to block us physically and energetically.  

I’m not making light of serious physical or emotional abuse when the feelings are strong and destabilizing.  It’s still important not to deny them but working with someone to help you face these things can make all the difference. 

Life is meant to challenge us and force us to grow in ways we would never willingly choose.  When we are forced by circumstance to open to a new way, something outside our comfort zone, it could just be the doorway to liberation that we have stumbled on.  So try not to label your your feelings as either good or bad, acceptable or unacceptable, happy or sad.   Welcome them all.